Relate: The Relationship, Training Begins Here

Pet dogs are happier when you are a confident, trustworthy and safe leader...a guide worth following!  Providing structure and reasonable social “rules” help our dogs feel secure and avoid frequent conflict. A clear, kind relationship with your dog also makes it much easier to successfully motivate and reinforce training.  Here are a few tips on what it takes to be a good dog leader/handler/guide/friend:

1.  Act the Part
Good leaders are calm and confident; proactive, rather than reactive. Provide encouragement, set boundaries, model wise behavior and make corrections into “teaching moments” that show your dog a better way.  Losing your cool doesn’t advertise you as a “leader”; it makes you seem unpredictable.

2.  Initiate Interactions
Invite your dog to you by calling him to you, rather than letting him maul you for pats.  Your attention is rewarding to your dog, so provide it for behavior you like, rather than being cajoled into giving it.

3.  Teach Your Dog to Say, “Please”
Asking your dog to do something briefly before you provide attention, food, toys, play, walks, etc... not only encourages your dog to defer politely to you, but also helps strengthen canine manners.  Request that your dog “Watch”, “Sit” or “Wait” before proceeding with enjoyable activities.

4.  Set Your Dog Up For Success
It isn’t fair to expect your dog to know your “rules” unless you teach him what they are, then consistently stick to them!  Teach your rules early, regularly, and without exception. Help him make good choices through management (like a leash or gentle collar hold when greeting visitors), then practice and reward.

5.  Good Things Come From You
You buy the kibble and toys, and own the hands for belly rubbing...you’re rich with canine valuables!  Be discerning, but not stingy, in how you provide these resources.  Toss that tennis ball because your dog quickly responded to your request to “lie down”, rather than because he’s dropped it in your lap.  Be affectionate, loving and giving, and use your riches to reinforce good behavior.

6.  Get To Know Your Dog
You got a dog for companionship, right?  So, really spend some time with him.  Put away your smart phone and play with your dog...every single day.  If your dog thinks fun comes only in the shape of other dogs, you've got some relationship-building to do!  Teach him how to understand your language, but observe and learn your dog’s body language, too.  Communication is a two-way street, after all.

Trainer Tip: Doing Nothing...with your dog

So often with our dogs there are expectations that we are attached to. For many of us, we begin to build a relationship by using a very common tool- training. In this sense, there are a LOT of expectations. We immediately begin to operate from a "should" conversation as in, this dog "should" sit, learn to lay down, be quiet when told to be quiet and should do these things in a class with other people and other dogs or when visitors (though we rarely have them) come to our home, he "should" not jump or pester them.

Hurm..

I think for many of us we are under extreme pressure in a class, especially at week 1, or when people visit our homes- we don't want to be embarrassed, we want to look good, we want to be liked, we want people to like our dogs. Oy- all of this swirling around in our heads AND we're supposed to teach the dogs something?

I'd like to suggest that we do a little less "skills training" in our own lives and a little more of this- getting a life (and allowing our dogs to get a life too). I'd like to suggest that if you want your dog to be relaxed- find some activities that YOU enjoy and begin to enrich YOUR life. So often it's all about the dogs (and heck, that's okay too), but when do I feel best and at peace? After a good hike in the sunshine. As a trainer do I spend minutes a day training my dogs? Nope, it's just here and there and as part of the routine. When do I feel like I'm most connecting with my dogs? When I'm being goofy, when I'm playing.

Play? What's that?
Give and take with no expectations.

So, lighten up. Commit to doing some things for YOU, that you've been putting off. You'll feel better, you might even been happier and I guarantee your dogs will notice too. Better yet, find activities that you both enjoy (and have no expectations).